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[personal profile] heartofthunder
Something happened to me a few nights ago, something that turned my world around and made me start to doubt. Not myself, per se. Not Ivan. Not my eventual world conquest. No, what I'm doubting is...

Fate. Destinty, perhaps. My father taught me that there was no such thing, that a man carved his own road and christened it with his own sweat and blood. A man was successful in life not through providence, but when he took matters in into his own hands.

I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't believe that. Every step I've come has been force of will. And now, as I stand on the brink of everything I've ever wanted, I find that the stars have aligned unexpectedly, and granted me...something.

Something I thought I'd lost forever. I'd reconciled with my grief, of course, and I moved on. But now, now with this sudden return...

...I just can't help but wonder if fate brought him back to me now for a reason.

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: It was late by the time Volgin finally got back to his quarters, and he felt like he could barely stand.

His legs ached and eyes burned. His head throbbed, vaguely. A knot of tension pulled between his shoulder blades.

Volgin wanted nothing more than to simply collapse into his bed, and sleep through what was left of the night.

In fact, that was a good plan.

The night had been hectic with the discovery of another body - and then a third, apparently. The though displeased him, but there was nothing he could do about it right now.

Volgin let out a sigh.

He locked the door behind him and didn't bother to turn on the lights. He began to pull at his clothes, stripping off jacket and shirt and belt, leaving them where they fell.

Volgin sat on his bed to remove his boots, thinking of Ivan. He'd sent Ivan to bed hours before, though it would have been nice to have him here now.

Another night, he told himself. He broke the seals on his containment suit, shrugging it off his broad shoulders and chest, then letting it fall to the floor as well.

Finally, Volgin crawled into his bed.

It was wide, and spacious. He fell in the exact center and barely managed to pull the covers over his body before his eyes closed.

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: He shouldn't have watched, not the way he did.

He lay prone beneath the vast bed, balanced on his palms and the balls of his feet, ready to lunge if he was made

But he knew, even as he did, that it wouldn't happen.

The Colonel had never been astute that way- attuned to his surroundings.

A smile curled beneath his lips, but never breached them. Even the thought of a rustle could clue in the subconscious of a man.

He shouldn't have watched, but he did.

His eyes roamed over muscles, overwrought and brutal. Scars on otherwise lucid skin, that snaked and forked in branches like the winter-bared limbs of an aspen, shadowed on the wall.

He shuddered softly at the weight of Volgin's steps, the momentum of his every action. The palpable force behind it. All things he could feel.

He shuddered again as he heard the creaking springs above him, and the settling bulk that fell silent almost instantaneously.

He listened, rapt and immobile, to the Colonel's breath, followed it through the phases of consciousness to half-sleep, to deep and unyielding slumber.

When he was certain- and not before- he rolled out from underneath, and rose to his feet.

He stirred nothing, and nothing stirred, as he alighted on the bed, settling gently as a leaf.

Caging that massive body with his own, he leaned in close, and pressed his hand over the Colonel's mouth.

"Don't say a word," he intoned, softly, his voice deep and sonorous.

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: Volgin's eyes flew open.

Adrenaline hit him like lightning, firing his senses, pulling him from the depths of sleep and instantly making him aware.

Volgin was in his quarters, in his bed. And there was someone with him.

A strong hand pressed against his mouth. An arm against his neck. Legs, pinning his hips.

A voice in the darkness. A masculine scent.

Volgin jerked forward in the bed, but realized he was trapped.

Made helpless, under the strength of his aggressor, and the skill with which he was held. There was nothing he could do. In this situation, even his power wouldn't help him.

Out of concern for Ivan's safety, he'd made sure his quarters were fully insulated.

He was completely at this man's mercy.

Volgin shuddered, and realized he was also hopelessly aroused.

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: Something in him thrilled as the ruthless body beneath him struck taut, resistant, and he clenched his thighs, immobilizing the man with weight and leverage.

Nothing but the ragged sound of breathing, harsh and raw against black leather, and the hard line of his mouth softened slightly, as his fingers shifted to caress, even as he suppressed his captive's voice.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten me," he whispered into the stillness.

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: The touch was intimate, the touch of a lover.

Volgin's brow furrowed.

He peered into the darkness, but could only make out the form. A large man. A muscular man, nearly as large as Volgin. Thickly muscled shoulders, powerful arms. Broad chest.

And the voice...the voice was familiar.

Volgin made a inarticulate questioning noise under the man's hand.

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: A shuddering emotion unfurled in him, like a sprawling vine with small, dark flowers of bitterness.

"You hurt me once," he said, quietly. "Not so long ago."

A slightly caustic laugh, throaty and low.

"Or does that not narrow it down enough, Zhenya?"

He could feel Volgin's pulse, chest to chest, and his own heart pounding in violent counterpoint, in a feuding and primal percussion.

He shifted to reinforce his dominance, and that was when he felt the massive rise against his inner thigh, as the realization hit him that Volgin was mercilessly hard below the waist.

"...So you do remember something."

A pause.

"Touch my face," he whispered.

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: Volgin swallowed.

His heart cramped in his chest, and his lungs felt constricted, but slowly, he raised his hand.

It felt weak, nerveless and numb. That was no coincidence. Like a boa constrictor, the man clearly knew the proper way to sap his opponent's strength.

Volgin's hand lit on the man's shoulder, then slowly traveled up his broad neck to his face.

He let his fingers play across the man's skin, careful to avoid his eyes. Careful to check his power, though he didn't know why.

By all rights, he should unleash everything he had. Even with the insulation, it would at least stun –

Fingertips pressed to the man's angular cheekbones, Volgin paused, and frowned.

He remembered cheekbones like these, high and sharp.

He let his fingers roam again, down to the man's jaw.

Yes. And this jawline, strong, well-defined, slightly roughened with stubble. There was a particular aggressive slant to it, like the muzzle of a fierce dog.

Volgin hesitated, then brought his fingers to the man's lips, pausing.

In the darkness, his eyes widened, and his fingers trembled.

No. It couldn't be. Surely he was imagining...

But why would his mind make such an association, wholly unbidden? It was impossible.

His lips moved, to say a name. But even if the hand over his mouth had not been in place, no sound would have issued from his lips anyway.

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: He felt the hand that moved over his skin, and closed his eyes, gritting out a dry sob, stoic and unwavering.

Those hands. Able to be gentle only at their shared scale.

The touch, ungloved, that should have terrified him. Such proximity was suicide.

"You could kill me now," he intoned, into the small territory that they shared. "Again."

His gaze had long since grown accustomed to the darkness, and he saw the flare of Volgin's eyes, wide in moon-bleached blue.

"Zhenya," he murmured, a rumble deep in his throat. "I'm going to move my hand."

His palm unclamped slowly and withdrew, freeing the Colonel's mouth.

"Don't call for your men. It would be waste of time."

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: "I won't," Volgin breathed.

He knew that voice. It had been long ago, but not long enough to cause him to forget entirely, even though he knew it was impossible.

Men didn't come back from the dead.

But yet here was the proof before him. The familiar, resonant voice. The masculine scent, muted and dampened, apparent only up close. The strength in those strong, wide hands.

He knew it could be only one person, but even then, his mind balked.

He was dead, Volgin reminded himself. He'd felt the man's stilled pulse with his own panicked hands. He'd pounded on his chest to no avail. And then, he'd run -

Volgin shuddered.

"Alyosha?" he whispered. "Alexei."

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: He reached forward slowly, cradling the broad, granite jaw in his hand.

"Yes," he uttered, in a subtone, a guttural hush.

Pressing his thumb against Volgin's lip, sensually menacing in touch.

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy to see me?"

His other hand manacled the Colonel's thick wrist easily, and held it apart from his body, pinning it gently against the mattress.

"Did you miss...being mine?"

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: Volgin tried to will his body not to tremble, but his shoulders shook anyway, and his wrist tremored.

It was impossible, and yet clearly it wasn't.

A man had come back from the dead.

Volgin wondered what sort of force could restart a man's heart when it took but an errant slip of his power to stop it.

"I...I thought...." he started, but had no good way to explain himself.

He pressed his lips together. There were a lot of things Volgin had missed, but he hadn't let himself think about them.

"What are you doing here?" Volgin finally said. "Did you come back for - "

He broke off.

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: "You," Alexei said roughly, letting his head bow. "I came back..."

He paused, shaking his head.

"God, Zhenya, don't ask me why."

He rubbed his cheek against the Colonel's, and their stubble warred ardently, but he restrained his lips from roaming where they once freely claimed.

His voice plummeted into a broken whisper.

"...why did you send me away? You bastard fuck. You could have told me to my face."

His hand tightened on Volgin's wrist, unwitting, as he searched his face in desperation.

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: "I didn't know," Volgin said, stricken.

He shifted under the other man's body, and it pushed his erection against Alexei's thigh with an electric tingle, and jolt.

Volgin felt his control slip, just a little. His hips shook with the strain.

"I thought you were dead, Alexei. I was sure of it. I didn't know what to do. I panicked."

He could see eyes now, Volgin thought. Pale in the darkness.

"I didn't know you were alive."

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: "Dead?"

Alexei's hands slackened, slowly, releasing. Volgin's words were a shock to his system.

"What happened?" he demanded, quietly. "Tell me, Yevgeny."

A shiver took him, and he pulled back, suddenly uncertain.

"I don't remember anything."

He put his head in his hands.

"...Except a storm. The rain."

Yes. Yes.

Perfect weather for misbehavior, Volgin had rumbled, with that leer that made Alexei melt into ardent and molten flesh.

Somewhere between that orgasmic night and now, he'd lost his world in ether.

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: "We were together," Volgin said, slowly. "And you made me feel - "

It had been glorious. Transcendent.

He hadn't known such exquisitely sensual pain before, or since. And he'd just...

"I lost control," Volgin whispered.

He reached up with a weakened hand to touch Alexei's jaw once more, forcefully dampening his power, the way he'd learned to do for Ivan. The way he'd thought he could do with Alexei.

"I didn't mean to, Alexei. But you made me feel so good. It just happened, and the next thing I knew..."

Volgin faltered.

"...you were dead."

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: Alexei's jaw clenched beneath the Colonel's touch.

"I wasn't dead," he said. "Your friend Krauss knew that. Didn't he ever tell you?"

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: Volgin's hand stilled.

"Krauss?" he whispered.

He remembered running.

He remembered the collision in the hall, nearly knocking the German off his feet, and how Krauss had kept him long enough for Volgin to stammer out what he'd done.

And then Johann had laid that maimed hand on his shoulder, looked him in the eye, and said, I'll take care of everything, Yevgeny. Don't worry, mein kamerad.

Krauss had known.

All this time, and Krauss had known, and kept it from him. He'd let think Alexei was dead. He'd let Volgin think he'd killed him.

Volgin's gaze flared in the room's nonlight. Static raced up his forearms, and his current surged, hard enough to crack the air between them.

He felt Alexei flinch.

"I'll kill him," Volgin growled. "He never told me a thing."

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: Alexei's lip curled, and he unhanded Volgin roughly, pulling back, averting his eyes.

"You authorized it. Don't lie to me, Zhenya."

His voice was a low and sullen growl.

"What was it? Were you tired of me? Or maybe you just traded up. I heard about the squad that replaced mine, you son of a bitch."

Saltwater on his lips like brine.

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: "What?" Volgin breathed, but the rest caught in his throat.

Inarticulate, he reached out to grasp Alexei's forearm, groping for purchase in the dark.

If that was what Alexei had thought all these years, if he'd harbored anger and resentment because he thought Volgin had -

"Why - why are you here, Alyosha? Why did you come?"

It was a question he hadn't even thought to ask until now. He'd still been reeling with the shock of learning that Alexei was alive. He couldn't have guessed that Alexei would blame him.

Why shouldn't he, though? Volgin had been the one to kill him.

Volgin closed his eyes. "I never meant to hurt you, Alyosha, I swear. And when I thought you were dead, when I thought I'd killed you, I panicked. I ran into Krauss in the hallway. He said he'd take care of everything. He never told me the truth."

His hand convulsed, tightening on Alexei's arm. "You have to believe me."

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: Alexei turned, taking hold of the arm that held him, running his hand up the rarely-bared skin.

Tracing dry riverbeds that made Volgin shiver violently.

"You have more scars," he said, quietly. "And still so sensitive to the touch."

He closed his eyes.

"I couldn't stop thinking of you. Even when I was sure you had thrown me away."

Alexei's hand hesitated, before easing over to Yevgeny's chest, sliding his broad palm across the slope of a brutal pectoralis. The nipple shocked him slightly and he grunted.

"God," he gutted out, thickly. "You've still got it, Zhenya."

He shuddered.

"And I still want it."

A harshly whispered confession in the darkness.

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: Volgin shuddered, and swallowed.

He felt Alexei's hand roam over his chest, his touch both probing and possessive. Memories came back to Volgin with abrupt clarity, and he recalled the things Alexei used to do to him.

He groaned.

"Yes...I want that too."

Volgin brought his hand to Alexei's leg, and stroked his thumb along the inside of his thigh. Current raced along his fingertips, making the muscle flex involuntarily.

He drew in a sharp breath, remembering how Alexei would hold him down and take from him what he wanted. How Alexei would break him, then remake him from the pieces.

It had been exquisite, he remembered.

"You have me in your power, Alyosha. Make me yours again," he whispered.

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: He met Volgin's eyes, breathing hard. The words were sweeter to his ears than anything he'd ever heard.

"You were always mine," Alexei ground out, leaning forward, forcing Volgin's mouth open with a deep and brutal kiss.

The contractions of his muscles were intermittent, as Volgin's touch roamed his body.

Yes, god, it was good to be back.

"Zhenya," he whispered, and kissed him again, thumbs against his mouth, shivering as he felt the Colonel's response in the form of charges, rising and falling and inciting his desire.

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: It was almost like a dream, Volgin thought, to have Alexei come back like this, emerging from the shadows, wraithlike and demanding.

To Volgin, it felt surreal to have his former lover return to claim kisses, wanting to consume him.

But Volgin wasn't really protesting much, either.

Far from it.

Volgin groaned under the casual ruthlessness of Alexei's mouth.

He drew his hands over Alexei's broad shoulders and down his back, his power surging with the crest of his need, stinging skin and prickling into muscle.

He shuddered, violently, fingers catching at Alexei's hips, his current vibrating deeply, pulsing.

In turn, he could feel Alexei's body surge against his, the strength in his limbs breathtaking, the torture of his hands precise.

Oh yes, Volgin remembered this.

At the moment, he couldn't remember anything else.

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: Alexei's powerful thighs shook with current and he arched his back, grinding, seeking the press of Volgin's hardened cock against his own.

"Oh Zhenya," he breathed, softly. "How could I have left you? Even if I'd died, I would have come back," he hissed, leaning in to sear a line up Volgin's throat with the point of his tongue. "... just like this."

He seized Volgin's hair, short and tight in his fingers, jerking his head back and eliciting a rough, appreciative grunt, which he murdered with a bruising kiss.

" I want to fuck you...like the last time," he gritted out, running his hands over Volgin's punishing muscle, the mountainous topography of his strapping chest. "When you almost killed me with your glorious fucking sickness, you perfect bastard."

Suddenly, he heard a noise. Imperceptible, but...

His head lifted, briefly, arrested in his motion.

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: Memories rushed back with knife-edged clarity.

Volgin's body jerked against Alexei's, nearly undone by words alone.

He remembered that violent, feverish night.

Alexei had stood before him, wearing nothing but his jackboots.

Everything about Alexei had been hard - his thick, rigid cock, the swell of muscle along his arms, his taut, powerful body and perfectly defined muscles.

Alexei had raised a hand and ran it along the inside of Volgin's scarred arm. The motion had been intimate, strangely tender, but in an instant, he seized Volgin's wrist and twisted it behind his back with effortless grace.

The pain had been shocking, and drove Volgin to his knees, but Alexei had shoved him forward, and bent him over the bed.

Alexei's other hand had gone to the back of Volgin's neck. To hold him down, to press his face into the mattress, Volgin had thought, but then he felt the length of leather slip around his neck, and tighten.

Reflexively, Volgin's power kicked in, crackling the air between them like an electrical storm, but Alexei had not hesitated. He parted Volgin's trembling thighs then slammed into him at the same time he tightened the belt and yanked Volgin's arm painfully higher.

Volgin's vision had turned black at the edges.

It was the most exquisitely brutal thing he'd ever felt, to have Alexei use him like that. To possess him in a way Volgin had never even considered was possible.

He remembered coming so hard he'd passed out, but when he'd awoken...

"God, yes, please," Volgin gasped, shaking so hard he could barely breathe, electricity crackling across his skin, blinding bright in the darkened room. "Do that to me again, Alyosha. I'm begging you."

But something was wrong, he realized after a beat, then a long moment's agonizing pause.

"What? What is it?" he demanded. "Take me, Alexei, you'll be safe. I had my quarters insulated. And I can control it now, I promise."

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: Alexei's head whipped around, his attention redrawn to Volgin, eyes softening, leaning close.

Something exquisite in his tone, like pheromones- pain, yes, but not the pain Alexei showed him. Volgin never cried out in pain, never. He moaned, he bellowed, he shuddered, he grunted, always in ecstasy. Pain was his pleasure. Alexei understood that.

This was the pain of a man who wanted, who needed. This was the pain of a man who thought he might be denied, whose plaintive eyes pled with him to be violent, to hurt him with utter love and sweetest brutality.

It made his heart feel raw.

"Now you know how I felt when I thought you sent me away," he breathed, voice catching raggedly.

He tore back the sheet that separated them- and he almost wept. Yevgeny still slept naked, like a savage, barefoot and ruthless, scars tattooing him all over like a roadmap of purgatory.

Alexei lunged forward, hands crushing the giant man's hips, and buried his face in Volgin's groin, unabashedly inhaling his pungent masculinity, lips pressed into the lush blond thatch that grew in the valley between cock and thigh.

With a gutteral and wordless growl, he drew back, eyes narrowing.

He drove his arms beneath Volgin's thighs, flipping him onto his stomach with a swift, powerful motion of torque.

Spreading him unrelentingly until he was rawly exposed.

Blue veins of lightning chased down Yevgeny's spine as his hands clenched into the mattress.

"We have four years to make up for," Alexei said, softly, settling into his role like inhabiting a favored glove. "I hope you can take me all night."

A second's pause, and he jerked Volgin's hips up with one hand, pinning his chest down to the bed with the other.

His ass was gladiotorial; carved and massive, the globes of his buttocks perfect and rock-solid.

Alexei clenched his teeth, and reached for his aching cock, intending to free it and drive deep without warning.

But a glint of light outside made him freeze, eyes trained on the semidarkness outside, the outbuildings and structures that ringed the Main Grad.

A glint, from a rooftop to the West, across the yard.

And he knew that it was a sniper's rifle. A Dragunov.

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: Volgin held his breath, trembling, his entire body quivering, waiting for the pain that never came.

After long moments, he had to release his breath, gasping, panting for air.

Then he inhaled once more.

Seconds passed, ten, then twenty, with Alexei poised over him, pressing him into the mattress, but unmoving.

Again, Volgin exhaled, choking on curse.

"God! Alexei! What are you waiting for? Fuck me!" he roared, electricity flaring down his back, searing hot.

Volgin bucked once, but violently under Alexei's grasp, throwing all his strength into it, demanding Alexei's attentions.

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: Alexei's hand clamped down, pinning his mouth.

"Zzzzzzt," he hissed, shushing him, his breath shallow and suppressed as he listened.

His whole body had tensed and trembled with fine motor vibrations, both from restraining his arousal, and from the adrenalin of realizing their peril.

"Zhenya," he said, in a very low voice, closing his eyes. "Listen to me, very, very carefully."

He regathered his thoughts, and let out a choked snarl of frustration.

"You need to do some things for me. I want you to change quarters. As far into the complex as possible. An interior room, if you can. And then, I want you to put your largest blond soldier into this room. Have him wear one of your uniforms."

He paused, eyes flicking back and forth in calculating thought, murmuring under his breath.

"He won't know the difference, just from the photograph. He's never seen you."

Alexei let his lips touch Volgin's ear, his breath jagged.

"I have to go."

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: Volgin let out a vehement snarl, voice muted, muffled by Alexei's hand clamped tightly across his lips.

But even as he growled and shifted in frustration, something about the particular quality of Alexei's voice drew a lance of ice up Volgin's spine.

Quiet. Intent. Serious. Volgin had heard him this way before, knew him well enough to tell this wasn't just a powergame. It had been four years, yes, but people didn't change that much. Whatever it was, Alexei meant it.

Volgin forced himself to recall what Alexei had said.

Slowly, his eyes widened.

Volgin could hear his own heartbeat, irregular but slowly ebbing, and the pulse of blood in his ears.

His gaze locked on Alexei's, sharp now and focused, and he muttered a question against his broad palm, conflicted, still shifting, but Alexei's hand did not relent.

Volgin swallowed.

There was nothing he could do; he had no choice but to submit.

It had always been that way, with Alexei.

Shuddering, Volgin closed his eyes briefly before he gave a single nod of assent.

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: Alexei released him, drawing back, averting his eyes.

"You have no idea how bad I want you right now."

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: Volgin gritted his teeth, grunting as Alexei pulled away.

"Oh, believe me, I do."

He shifted, and drew in a breath, pushing himself up in the bed.

"When are you going to tell me what's going on, Alyosha?"

[livejournal.com profile] snow_death: "There's no time. He's scanning. If he sees me here, he'll know I'm close. He thinks I'm after the same thing he is."

Alexei's eyes turned to Volgin, anguished, plaintive.

"But I'm not, Zhenya. Only-"

He moved to the bed, crouching beside it, meeting the Colonel's incredulous gaze with pale, solemn eyes.

"...on my way in here, to find you...I was seen by a man." His voice broke. "Just a kid."

It was only a flash of empathy, and then he hardened his mouth and set his jaw.

"I neutralized him, Zhenya," he confessed. "I'm sorry. I didn't plan it."

[livejournal.com profile] heartofthunder: Volgin blinked and shook his head, not understanding.

"What? Neutralized who? What are you talking about?"

He frowned intently, searching Alexei's face, but he saw only quiet torment, and contrition.

Ocelot's man, Volgin realized, belatedly, startled. The one that had been found dead in the shower.

At first, Volgin had thought the death somehow connected with the other murders, but if it had been Alexei -

"I...don't know what to say," Volgin said, slowly.

He was again abruptly conscious of the surreality of the moment, of Alexei's return from the dead and his cryptic warning, and now this confession.

But if Alexei had found a way to return to him in spite of...everything, then he couldn't find it inside himself to condemn him for an accidental death.

Volgin knew what Alexei must be feeling, better than anyone.

Impulsively, he reached out and seized Alexei's arm, holding it fast.

Volgin knew that if Alexei had not wanted to be caught, he wouldn't have been able to grab him, but even so, he held on tightly.

"Alyosha...don't worry about the boy," he said, softly, and with a quiet sigh. "I can't blame you for that. That's something I...understand."

He squeezed Alexei's shoulder once, then dropped his grasp, briefly squeezing his eyes shut.

"When I thought you were dead...when I thought I had killed you, I felt....god, I don't know how to describe it. Like I had had a fortune, the wealth of nations, and I threw it all away by accident. But worse than an accident, because of my own weakness."

He looked up. "I - "

His breath caught in his throat.

Alexei was gone.

Date: 2007-07-24 08:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snow-death.livejournal.com
I won't be a stranger.


...Zhenyasha.

Date: 2007-07-24 04:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heartofthunder.livejournal.com
...you'd better not, Alyoshenka.

October 2007

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